The things you can see only when you slow down: Take a moment to love yourself

Take a moment to love yourself

In place of an introduction to The things you can see only when you slow down, author Hae Min sends a gentle message: Stop for a moment and take time to love yourself.

The reason, as the author shares, is that when we are not awakened, everyone carries heavy anxieties within them. Some young people struggle with tuition fees, some adults worry about unemployment, some working individuals fear being laid off, or "many people are so concerned about what others think that they are constantly steeped in the idea that they are being left behind, are lacking, and are inferior to others"... In short, many people are suffering, living day after day full of stress and worry.

As a Doctor of Religious Studies and an ordained monk in the Jogye Order (a Korean Buddhist sect), author Hae Min deeply understands the problems facing contemporary people, especially the youth.

He chooses to converse with them through Buddhism, via Blog, Twitter, etc. What he wants to convey is: Stop right now, just for a moment. Set aside the regrets of the past and the insecure imaginings of the future to "take a little time to breathe easily in the present."

Because life today is too hurried, if we keep moving fast and rush into that cycle, we will eventually lose things that are truly important to us.

This is the "disease of modern life": We always want to do so much, we can't bear to sit still with ourselves, we're afraid of missing out, afraid of losing opportunities... Look at yourself: how do you feel after a day without checking Facebook, TikTok, or watching Youtube? And how do you feel after scrolling through those platforms?

Have we ever truly stopped for a moment? Even on weekends, days we are supposed to rest, what do we do? Most people try to fill the inner void: watching movies, browsing the net... And so, we wander in what we choose to call suffering.

Take a moment to stop!
 

Rest first, right now

The things you can see only when you slow down is an incredibly easy book to read. You can read it from start to finish, from end to start, or open any random page. The reason is that the book is composed of short, healing quotes, compiled from author Hae Min's brief writings.

For example, in Chapter 1, titled Rest, the author offers gentle advice: If you are tired, rest for a bit and then continue. And rest means real rest; the author provides concrete suggestions: Go exercise, go to a sauna, eat your favorite meal, or watch a comedy movie. If those options still don't soothe you, then "take sick leave and go on a trip for a few days." And finally, you can write down everything that is troubling you (I am currently practicing this), then pray and sleep peacefully like a child...

These are suggestions that I find immensely practical. Because our minds don't allow us to rest; they push us to work exhaustively until we are worn out. I recall myself over the past years, during times of unemployment, when I had nothing to do but still busied myself daily just to escape. I wasn't truly resting then.

Hea Min writes, "Do we ever pay attention to the vast universe as we live?" We view the world through the lens of "I need this," and so we always perceive the world as hurried, when in fact, it is our own mind that is in a rush.

Author Hae Min himself was once caught in this trap of busyness while living in the US. Busy with multiple roles as a monk and professor, the author had to ask himself, "What exactly is my profession?" It wasn't until he realized that "it is my mind that is busy," "it is I who wants to be busy," that the knot was untied: I can choose to be at ease right now!

Thus, the source of our suffering is not the events that happen but the complicated thoughts we have about those events. This is something I've only recently realized; I wrote in my diary:
 

"When a problem arises, what causes us suffering are the 'thoughts about that problem.' For example, when someone says something that upsets us, our mind thinks about what they said, then drags us wandering and pulls us off the trajectory of 'as it is,' 'the present.' The more we wander, the more we suffer inside because of the identification between ourselves and those thoughts.
Therefore, to stop suffering when an undesirable event occurs, we must not follow the thoughts about that event. In other words, let what happens happen as it is; thinking about it will make everything different, and the further we go, the further we move away from ourselves - the true self that simply 'sees as it is'."

Right now, let's take a moment to rest!
 

And the future, life, love...

The best thing author Hae Min writes in The things you can see only when you slow down is his constant focus on the most practical human concerns: relationships, love, life, the future...

For instance, in Chapter 2 - Relationships, Venerable Hae Min talks about loneliness, about friendships, family ties... All can be summarized in one lesson: Relationships are like a fire; you must know how to maintain distance - not too close and not too far.

And the future? This is the area most people worry about. According to author Hae Min, to have a good future, you need to live for yourself in the present: You must live a life not to please others, but to please yourself!

When you look around and feel inferior, lagging behind others, remember this: Life is not a battle against your friends around you. It is a long-distance race against yourself.

Regarding the future, Venerable Hae Min particularly wants to address young people, students - those preparing to step into life. He wishes to convey 4 important points:

• First, even if others try to judge you by scores and rankings, you only need not to see yourself through their eyes. In other words, remember, "My value is known by myself."

• Second, if you constantly try to measure and compare your happiness with others, you will never become happy. In other words, the less we care about others, the higher our happiness index increases.

• Third, you need the courage to choose your own path in life. Don't live a safe life predetermined by others.

• Fourth, don't just spend time learning the thoughts of others; you must practice asking yourself what you think about those thoughts.

Then there are love and life; through each page of The things you can see only when you slow down, Monk Hae Min explains, offering short, easy-to-understand, and easy-to-practice solutions. In other words, every message from Monk Hae Min is like a healing remedy for those suffering from these issues.

Monk Hae Min's book, therefore, contains many valuable messages, especially suitable for young people living in a dizzying world: work, family, future, relationships... If you find yourself rushing so much that you don't have time for yourself, perhaps the moment has come to slow down a little, as Monk Hae Min advises.

Explore more healing wisdom: If you enjoyed this journey of slowing down, you might also find peace in our review of "No Death, No Fear: Comforting Wisdom for Life - Where do we come from? Where are we going?"  - a guide to overcoming our greatest anxieties through mindfulness.